the taco goes to school

Tomorrow I go back to work, and thus Lydia will have her first day of daycare. On the one hand, I am looking forward to going back to work and am pleased that I still want to have a career. Many people told me I would ache to be a stay-at-home-mom once I had Lydia, and I didn't want to be miserable once my maternity leave was over.

On the other hand, I feel a horrible guilt that I am looking forward to going back to work and leaving poor Lydia in the care of strangers. Why would I not want to be with my baby girl all day? I'm a horrible mom.

Nevertheless, work and daycare are just another sleep away.

Speaking of sleep, it's been a long, hard week. The first half of the week was horrible, sleep-wise. Lydia just screamed and screamed, refusing to go to sleep, not sleeping long, it was just horrendous. The Husband and I were very frustrated and felt like the most horrible of parents. I dreaded the night.

We talked with a few people who assured us this was normal and we weren't on the path to laying down a horrible childhood for Lydia. We got some tips for some different things to try -- we switched from swaddling her flailing legs to legged jammies and we found she preferred to sleep on her side. This plus more sleep during the day and a dash of the rocking chair led to a perfect night the past three nights. Apparently sleep begets more sleep. Here's hoping we're starting a trend.

Lydia had her two-month appointment on Friday. She is now a whopping 10 pounds 9 ounces and 22.5 inches long! Unfortunately, she got the first set of a barrage of shots. There were four long shots in her thighs plus an oral medicine. Ohhh, I have never seen her eyes get so big nor her face so red. My poooor baby -- the tears did flow!

I'm so glad she won't remember a bit of that.